It’s a few days after my yoga teacher training graduation. I’m just chillin’ in my boyfriends model apartment in Bangkok while we wait to head to the airport at 10:30pm…
I absolutely can’t believe that this trip is coming to an end. It feels like just yesterday that I arrived to Koh Samui to start my training and here I am now a Yoga Teacher! I feel very different and can’t even begin to explain it. I now understand why people that have taken a training can only say so much but you need to experience it for yourself.
It’s definitely been one hell of a month!! Squeezing in as much as you possibly can about yoga, the anatomy, the philosophy, the practice that includes much more then just yoga poses. Oh, and a shit ton of meditation! Surprisingly I took a huge liking to all the breathing techniques and meditation and continue to do so on my own and would love to share it with anyone who’s willing to listen.
Life also threw two deaths at me in a matter of two weeks.. its been challenging. My little brother died on Thanksgiving and my Grandpa died on my graduation day this past Saturday. Its all super sad but it’s comforting knowing that neither no longer suffer with pain or life and can be up there together just doin’ them (Prob playin shit tons of remote control cars and working with the tools like they always did back in the day). I’ll say it again, Happiness is a choice and I know for a fact that neither my Grandpa or Brother would want us to be sad.
I just really really wish heaven had visiting hours. My Grandpa Jim along with my beautiful Grandma Jude (Also, Grammy!) took my siblings, Corynn, Davynn, Conrad, and I in when we were taken away from my mother who turned to drugs when I was 8. They didn’t have to obviously, but they did like the ballers they are. The struggle was real growing up but back in the day, Gramps and Radman were the best of friends.
No matter how much shit my brother caused my grandparents I know that he loved them deeply, he was a broken kid that lost a lot at a young age and dealt with it the way he did. Both of these dudes were a big part of my life and I will miss them everyday. My Grandpa, my hero and my Brother, my other half. Until we meet again my sweet angels, Rest In Peace.
What is yoga to me? Yoga is the journey of the self, through the self, to the self. Yoga is my path to happiness, love, good energy, and calming the mind. Honestly, it’s even much more then that and its changed my life but you’ll only know if you try it out and I’d love to show you.
The end of Week 3
The strength built over the last two weeks is unreal and you only get a little glimpse of it from time to time because we are constantly working and breaking down the muscles. Ended the week teaching our very own 1 hour yoga class to another student on Friday. I taught mine to Pala and it was beautiful. I find it totally insane that I taught my very own classes and have changed my mind from not sure about teaching to 100% wanting to. I CAN DO IT!
The morning self practice on Saturday was a bit of a challenge after the practice we had the night before. Kosta had made up a new sequence that was challenging but super fun! I could see my strength and flexibility with the arm balances he threw in (tooo dope). Anyways, we went on with brunch which was nothing less then amazing per usual. I chilled with my favorite peeps Pála and Fi just shootin’ the shit and talking about yoga and life. Mikey joined later as usual and threw in a bunch a handstands just to show off (JOKING!!) I’ll miss these people fer sure. We had a great class by Jason that touched a lot more on the Chakras. Another one of Craig’s classes followed and honestly I was scared but I some how managed to find strength and kill the practice, trying a lot of the advanced poses and then it was dinner time! After dinner we had a tea ceremony put on by Ronnie. It was great just chilling and laughing a lot with such beautiful souls (Super wild Saturday night! haha).
It’s amazing to think that we were exactly where we are suppose to be and at that moment all at Vikasa in Koh Samui. It’s so damn beautiful. Life is beautiful and I’m really blessed.
Brunch/Dinner was always my fav because FOOD (I’m American duuuuh). But not only is there food, there’s my magical friends that I’ve grown so fond of. All of the Vikasa staff are absolutely amazing as well. There’s a funny dude named Win Zoe or something like that but everyone looks forward to his humorous shiny soul each evening at dinner. We always bugged him for another mango sticky rice dessert. There’s also Cecilia who is absolutely gorgeous, inside and out. She’s from France and recently experienced a loss as well so it’s nice to be there for each other. We give each other hugs everyday. Pala and I were lucky enough to spend time with her during her break on Sunday.
Sunday was a freakin perfect day. The sun poked its head out a couple times and then balanced with torrential down pours but it was good. I started the day with some self practice and did my own laundry. There was a laundry place across the street for 40 baht. Pala and I did ours together so it only cost us 20 baht! From there we had a yummy brunch and then another at 1230 before we headed to the beach with Fi, Pala, and Carlan for some massages. I got a quick mani/pedi and a 90 min coconut oil massage which made me smell like a freakin pancake the rest of the day and I wasn’t even mad. Due to frequent downpours I witnessed shit flying everywhere, walls blow down, and beach chairs slowly blow into pools. It was a really funny experience because this massage place is right near the water.. like is it safe to be there? Sure didn’t feel like it. BUT helllllooooo my mani isn’t doneee! Haha! From there we went back to Vikasa for cake and a coconut. At 5:30pm the lovely Debbie Bird had a Cacao Ceremony which honestly changed my life. It was way too cool.
To be real, I never really was able to dance in front of others comfortably without being tipsy but I really do love to dance. At the ceremony, we had a shot or 2 of this super beneficial fermented cacao, made intentions, and manifested dreams. It was a beautiful experience. After the ceremony we carried on to dinner and then yuuuuup more cake to end the night.
Week 4 was absolutely my favorite. We taught our very own class to groups of 5 or 6. My group was a bunch of babes: Pála, Lindsey, Emma, Maddy, Julia, and myself with Kyla joining a couple classes. I taught on Wednesday morning which was the last morning of the student teachings. It was a cool experience and quit challenging talking over the waves and other 5 classes going on in the yoga sala. I started off a little shaky and shortly got into the swing of things. I really appreciated the feedback from Kosta and Jason. Overall I did pretty good and have some things to work on that will come with experience. One of the things I really enjoyed was how I exuded a soft nurturing presence, yay!
Philosophy with the amazing Yogi Amitram continued all the way until Thursday. He even gave us a 30 minute savasana where I experienced feelings I hadn’t before . Thursday we all had the opportunity to have Jason and his super hot GF talk to us about Tantra (practiced for the purpose of enlightenment – moving all that sexual energy upward). I found it super interesting (shit got real) and Trev got to join it with me. I look forward to furthering my knowledge on the subject!
The last week consisted of some interesting and fun dynamics classes. On Thursday it was our last one and Betty had us get into 2 lines and one end started weaving in and out and moving down the line. The person weaving was the receiver of good things/compliments and the people on the outside were the givers. I’m not always good with words but we were able to keep it short and sweet which I’m good at. It’s so beautiful to hear all these wonderful things from all these beautiful souls. It’s also interesting to hear what people think of you especially ones I hadn’t had the time to get close with. It began and ended with everyone crying which actually felt really good.
Trevor (The boyfriend!!) arrived to Koh Samui last Wednesday. It had been monsooning for 5 or 6 days, luckily Vikasa made it out in one piece. With Trevor’s arrival came the sun which lasted until we left. I was so happy he got a little taste of the view, delicious food, and amazing people at Vikasa. We are both huge on food so I was stoked for him to share the brunches with my friends and I. We’ve been super lucky to have been able to spend these last 10 months doing modeling contracts together in Asia leading to this beautiful time at my yoga teacher training. We will begin our next chapter here shortly starting with our flight back home!
Friday we finished our last practices with our beautiful wonderful teachers and turned in our final exams (I passed and got extra credit for having chocolate sauce on my paper haha!). Our last practice closed with a candle gazing guided by Yogi Amitram. Candle Gazing is another meditation technique that helps with sleeping.
Saturday was THE day, Graduation day. We had a fire ceremony with everyone from 8am to 10am followed by brunch and then our graduation ceremony from 3pm to sunset on a yacht. Besides getting word of my grandpas death after the fire ceremony it was a beautiful day being blessed by the sea gods (no rain and still water what! what!)! We closed the fun day dancing the night away and playing drinking games in town.
The next day we checked out. I was NOT feeling great after a night of drinking (its never worth that hangover). We said some goodbyes and headed to the tattoo shop where I sat for 6 hours to get some super sick Sak Yant tattoos (HAEW TEW + PAD TID). The pain of the tattoos actually knocked the hangover right out! My boyfriend and Pala stayed with me the whole time and there were a few guest appearances from Cecilia, Fi, and Nina. Keng, the tattoo dude was like wow no one ever comes to see me when I get tattoos, people must really like you! (I have the coolest friends!) After the tattoos we headed back to Vikasa to order off the menu and say the last “See ya laters”. I’m already missing the shit out of Vikasa and all my friends but I can see me coming back in the future. My heart is there in Koh Samui with those vegan pancakes and cacao sauce!
Around 9pm, Trev and I headed to our Airbnb where we stayed one night before heading to the pier to start our adventure home. After a 4.5 hour ferry and 9 hour bus ride we made it back to Bangkok where we are now waiting to go to the airport to start our journey home to our next chapter.
Its been long 10 months so we are excited to get back. Our destination is LA where Trevor’s wonderful parents (Who actually bought our tickets home for christmas!! So grateful.) will pick us up. We will visit Trev’s bro, Trace whose basically just killin’ life and livin’ it up in LA for a day or two and drive to Arizona where we will reside until further notice!
So, its time for us to catch our Uber to the airport now. Wish us luck, we have a long journey ahead. As always, I hope you are enjoying the blog and feedback and shares are always appreciated.
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